Tiger Essay

It doesn't matter where you are in your education - grade school, high school, college - school is about essays. Luckily for you, you have me as a friend. Do you need an essay right now? Does your essay need to be incredible?

Print this off now and thank me later:

Image: tiger.gif

Begin Tiger Essay

Are you holding onto your socks? I know that it is not my place to be telling you what to do, but you might want to. Because they are about to get rocked off. Because this is the sweetest essay ever.

I recently decided that I would go ahead and write the sweetest essay ever when I realized that there isn’t really much point in writing any other essay. I mean, do you really want to be known as the person who wrote the thirty-second sweetest essay ever?

Maybe you do. Maybe that is why you didn’t write this essay. That is where you and I differ.

For some, thinking up sock-rocking material does not come easy. Some people do it for a living. I breathe sock-rocking material into my lungs like I breathe sweet country air, and exhale it back out onto paper just as easy, like it was nobody’s business. In fact, it is nobody’s business. Nobody except my publisher and I, that is.

All those people who write for a living wish that they had written this, but they didn’t.

An important part of sweet writing is to find the perfect balance between thoughtful, developed writing, and raw, emotional, spontaneous free-style flows. So flow with me. I am sitting in my chair, typing on this computer. My mouse doesn’t work right. Stupid mouse. So now I am here. Typing. Free-styling. Rocking. Flowing. Using one word sentences because this is my paper and I can do what I want. My pen is red. I feel a slight, unpleasant sensation in my lower back, possibly caused by the poor quality of the mattress on which I sleep.

You are welcome.

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